"I don't like having two ears."
- Ben

"I'm not looking for an estimate, I'm looking for a time frame."
- Dave S.

"I had a roommate once and we used to do the gay thing every once in a while. It drove my girlfriend crazy."
- Peter (while filing his nails)

Matt B.: "I had two cuties and an Asian pear."
Lukas: "Sounds like you and your wife have an open relationship."
Matt B.: "What, are you jealous?"
Zach: "I'm not a huge fan of pear-shaped women."

"I've been talking to you for five minutes and you've had your earplugs in the whole time?"
- Heather

"Only certain people could touch it if their blood print matched."

- Tiffany

Bret's Birthday Treat