Zach: He wanted to yell at her so badly but couldn't bring himself to do it like a mute with Tourette’s syndrome..
Zach: He was a real square and incredibly dumb like a cubic rock.
Zach: He was bad at making metaphors like a person trying to make a metaphor but accidentally using the word "like"
Zach: His new year's resolution was clear and highly defined like a 1,920x1,080 TV
Troy: Zach was as excited about writing metaphors as Monica Lewinski was when she first discovered the fashion gravitas of wearing a beret.
Troy: He became as indecisive as a door handle greased with Vapor Rub, but without the lingering "cool" sensation.
Troy: His Indian accent was thick like two parts corn starch and one part water, with a dash of curry to make it sound more Hindu.
Zach: He was as capricious as the non-metaphorical woman during her "time of the month"
Troy: Her eyes were sharp as a knife, but her mind was more like the opposite of the sharpness of a knife, or her eyes.
Zach: He was as waggish as a co-worker attempting to make humorous metaphors and/or similes
Zach: His running while having a cold got him bent all out of sorts and upside down. His nose ran and his feet smelled.
Zach: He was as smart as wink and as quick as tack
Troy: He was as optimistic as a guy expecting his picture to be next to a word, like "optimistic", in the dictionary.
Troy: His enthusiasm was matched only by something about the same degree.
Zach: He was as sharp as a song about old cheddar written in C# major
Troy: He woke up like he had been shocked by 30 amps, but actually it was literally 29 amps.
Zach: He got a kick out of her just the way a guy would get a kick out of a girl if he tried to get too fresh with her
Zach: He went completely postal like Amazon's delivery methods
Troy: His feet smelled like a dead raccoon if it had enormously large smelly feet.
Troy: His garden went to weed faster than Washington state, but he remained as gay as Vermont.
Troy: He started mixing metaphors like a woman preparing a cake but doesn't quite stick the landing.
