Eric N.: "Siri, remember to beat Lukas."
Siri: "OK, here's your reminder: 'Be Lucas'. Would you like me to create it?"
Lukas: "You can try, Eric. You can try."

Tiffany: "I hope by Monday I still have my G."
Eric N.: "Your G?"
Tiffany: "Yeah, my job."

"If you want to spend a lifetime in fire and damnation, go buy an Android phone."
- Eric N.

"It's called a covered wagon. It's grounds for divorce in my home."
- Eric N.

"Why do you have pictures of my children on your phone?"
- Eric N.

Justin H.: "You want to learn some three-letter words? Play Boggle."
Eric N.: "I know my four-letter words. I say them all the time when I play this game."