Lukas: "Peter, hang up."
Peter: "No, you hang up."
Corey: "That's quite a bro-mance you guys have going on there."

Bret's T-Shirt: "I'm a PC"
Justin H: "A Porn Consumer?"

"I've been in diapers for. . . let's see, 8 years."
- Justin H.

"I love auto-magic."
- Heather

"I wish your wife was my wife and she could make lunch for me every day."
- Heather

"Yeah, Christmas is coming up. I've been pretty good this year. At least, according to me."
- Derek

Justin H: "I'm thinking about getting a Kindle Fire."
Justin E: "With the money that you save, you could get an 'L' tattooed to your forehead."

"If you consider me a girl..."
- Heather

"I don't ever wear anything prerogative."
- Heather

Tiffany: "I know you guys think I'm a girl and that I'm stupid."

Justin H.: "She's really neither of those things."

... then later ...

Heather: "I know I'm a girl. I'm pretty confident, as I've explored that myself."

"I wasn't the only one who took my pants off.... Everyone else did too!"
- Tiffany

"This is great. The sun is beating down on me, and I'm working on my neck tan."
- Tiffany

"Everybody who has been harassed by me in the last fifteen minutes... just put it on my tab."
- Troy

"We can't all have Troy Hott."
- Lukas

"That's a whole 'nother ballpark of peanuts."
- Heather

Potluck Rap

Hey there homey, you are the epitome
Of everything I want to be.
So I'll take this time for bustin' out a rhyme
To everyone here I see.
So this some pot luck, but I don't give a darn
About potatoes and a weenie roast.
But I do like the jello cuz it gets me feelin' mellow
And I like to spread it over toast.

"Sometimes plans don't go as planned."
- Tiffany

"I don't like to wear clothes."

- Heather

Sleep is like a cup of water; you need 8oz. of sleep.

[As a car almost rammed into him] "I had just enough time to go through the 60s and 70s..."

- Troy

"I have this rule that I have to be able to beat up the women I date."

- Matt R.

"Apple is the grease on the pole to hell."

- Brett P.

Matt H.: "If you enjoy movies with naked she-males, then see it."

Corey: "What's the movie?"

"Now you guys don't think I'm as dumb as you did."
- Troy

"My strawberries are in the fridge. I can't wait until they are ready to hatch."
- Heather

"I really think my throat muscles are growing."
- Heather

"I have 3 more tests to stamp."
- Heather

"I'm always racist. I'm Mexican. I can be."

- Phil

"I'm with Briana on this one. . . . I think she'd make a really great guy. I'd probably date her."

- Heather

"I would be the best guy ever."

- Briana

"My husband's my kid and my dog is my dog."

- Heather

"My boyfriend at the time's husband's wife...."

- Heather

"I just keep stepping in my mouth."

- Tiffany

"I was an accident!"

- Tiffany

"You have to straighten the tip . . . and it'll go straight."
- Phil

"When I eat pizza, my head itches."

- Briana

"I didn't get plastered at my wedding, but I did drink quite a bit."

- Heather

"*cough* Apricot down the throat of the breathing tube.."

"There was one time in college when I wasn't completely drunk."

- Heather

"I put more thought and planning into this race than I did my own wedding."

- Peter

"Fortunately, I never post, I just use [Facebook] to cyber-stalk people."

- Corey

"One time I woke up and I was wearing ten pairs of underwair over my pajamas."
- Tiffany

"I lost my versionity!"
- Brett P.

"There's a give and take. I'll take the give."
- Derek

"He was very ... pursuing-y..."
- Briana

"The first rule of plumbing is that crap rolls downhill. The second rule is that payday is on Friday."
- Corey

"So 3rd Farty is, uh..."
- Heather

"I'm not going to flip you off even though I want to."
- Tiffany

"We have the go ahead to ... go ahead."
- Brett P.

"It's rated like P."
- Tiffany

"Humans are like slinkies. Everybody laughs when they go down the stairs."
- Justin H.

"I'd kiss [my wife], but if that's contagious, I don't want it. I mean, I don't know where the baby would come out!"
- Matt H.

"I literally did not mean to do that on purpose."
- Tiffany

"Don't get your horses too excited..." (Mixture of "Don't get your hopes up", "Don't get too excited", and "Hold your horses".)
- Lukas

"[Passports] are expensive. I just got one. I have to flee the country soon."
- Matt H.

"My wife would like to let you know that she's better than your wife."
- Garret

(Girl in the background playing darts) "NO! Take that off!!"
Matt: "Whoooa, ok. I'm going home. I'm not into strip darts."
Derek: "I'll be honest. I probably would be."
Matt: "You get one mad person and you're too close to a disaster."

"Cream cheese keeps your insides lubricated."
- Derek

"Aw, workplace violence. Nothing like it."
- Derek

Dallin: "Luckily, that Hudson score has never been something that I really cared about."
Matt: "Well that's really embarrassing; that's like not really caring about wearing pants."

"It's good for camaraderie and brotherhood, but... screw you guys."
- Matt H.

Troy: "Are we talking about Satan's anus again?"
Tiffany: "I haven't been there in a really long time."