(After Bret explained meeting his wife through a mutual interest in astronomy)
Jonathan: "How long has it been since you 'showed her the stars'?"
Bret: "It's been quite awhile."

(Later, Bret, trying to explain himself)
Bret: "I was referring to my telescope!"
Lukas: "Is that what you call it?"

Bret: "Lukas is going to streak across the company wearing one of the Degüello flags."

Lukas: "I'll need more than one."

Jonathan: "Let's be honest, one will be just fine."

Bret: "Newborn diapers are interesting."
Troy: "Oh, because of the meconium. It's the secret ingredient of gorilla glue."

Bret (speaking about a bug): "Jonathan can't reproduce."
Jonathan: "Five kids, one on the way."

Ben: "I'm never getting married. I'm having too much fun. I'm building robots!"
Bret: "Who needs a wife when you have robots?"
Ben: "Not those kinds of robots. . . ."

Corey: "I'd like to see a little more about Jasmine." (Speaking of the JavaScript testing framework)
Bret: "Why? Do you like scantily-clad Arabian women?"

"I'm commitstipated. I'm feeling backed up. I have lots of commits. They need to be pushed. You know the feeling, when you're like, I need to get this out sooner or later, preferably sooner than later."
- Bret

Bret's T-Shirt: "I'm a PC"
Justin H: "A Porn Consumer?"