"I'm the man of pretty much every hour. Humility? Yeah, I've got it."
- Zach

Heather: "If I work from home, I still have to keep my dog outside. He knows I'm home, so he just whines the whole day."
Troy: "That's just like my wife."

"Half the things we did when we were kids, you could be considered a domestic terrorist nowadays."
- Jaron

Tiffany: "I'm a girl, I wear dresses sometimes."

Nate: "Most girls just complain about wearing dresses."

Ben: "All I know is that when I'm with a girl wearing a dress, she always wants to take it off."

"It's been a business doing pleasure with you."
- Troy

"Didn't you hear about my drug story as a child?"
- Heather

"Let's just go for a walk outside and throw flowers at each other."
- Tiffany

"Why am I this transgendered girl?"
- Heather

Heather: "The reason I don't believe in babies..."
Matt R.: "Babies are real. I've seen several of them."