"I've been talking to you for five minutes and you've had your earplugs in the whole time?"
- Heather

"Religion and personal life are two different things, but they can interlap."
- Heather

"We don't follow Agile per Batim."
- Heather

"I got a cat because I wanted a second dog."
- Heather

"I don't put an 'N' in 'definitely'."
- Heather

Heather: "I know that Abraham Franklin invented the light bulb."

Lukas: "Anything else you know about him? Anything to do with the constitution?"

Heather: "No that was Hancock."

"People breed them like they're candy."
- Heather

"Geeze, Lukas, you're causing hectic!"
- Heather

"My sister left me an ineligible voicemail. I couldn't understand anything she said. . . . She just doesn't speak legibly any more."
- Heather

Heather: "Corey, you didn't go to The Hobbit?"

Corey: "No. I'm scared of short people. That's why you put the fear in me."

"There's pumpkins on my keyboard."
- Heather

Lukas: "Do you know the real meaning of TGIF?"
Heather: "Good thing it's Friday."

Zach: "Uh-oh. I brought up politics. You aren't supposed to talk about that."
Heather: "I love talking about things you aren't supposed to talk about at work."

(talking to Tiberius...)
Heather: "I'm trying to help you shed your head..."

Heather: "The last six SimpliQuotes have been me."
Corey: "You say as many words as you do in a day you're bound to string together something interesting."

"It makes sense if you don't think about it."
- Heather

"It is impertinent that Zach knows this."
- Heather

"I'm always under the influence of something."
- Heather

Heather: *cough* "I'm trying to breathe. . . ."
Corey: "I wouldn't. . . ."