Lukas: "I know somebody who looks exactly like your boyfriend."
Matt R.: "Well who's the doppelganger?"
Lukas: "I think Tiffany's boyfriend, because I met him second."
Justin H.: "The doppelganger is usually the evil one."
Tiffany: "It's not always the easy - I mean evil one..."
Justin H.: "Now we know why you were up so late last night."

Heather: "Corey, you didn't go to The Hobbit?"

Corey: "No. I'm scared of short people. That's why you put the fear in me."

I've beef in my teeth and it's causing me grief.
I'll stop eating meat and I'll turn a new leaf.
I'll change and be vegan and they'll call me chief
Cuz eating that meat is against my belief.
My teeth will be spotless. Oh what a relief.
My penance is long but my poem is brief.

"There's pumpkins on my keyboard."
- Heather

"I want a mini skirt, not one that goes down to the ankle."
- Corey

Lukas: "Do you know the real meaning of TGIF?"
Heather: "Good thing it's Friday."

"Little Caesar's? I haven't had that since Friday."
- Adam

"There's been more than a few days that I've looked longingly under my desk and thought, 'That looks comfortable.'"
- Corey

"It makes sense once you understand it."

- Tyler P.

Bret (speaking about a bug): "Jonathan can't reproduce."
Jonathan: "Five kids, one on the way."

Zach: "So Corey, did you order some blue BuckyBalls?"
Corey: "Yeah, I did."
Jonathan: "Corey, you're gonna have blue balls?"
Troy: "Come on, Jonathan! HR Violation!"
Jonathan: "What!? It was just hanging there."

Justin H.: "What did he did?"

Zach: "Uh-oh. I brought up politics. You aren't supposed to talk about that."
Heather: "I love talking about things you aren't supposed to talk about at work."

Ben: "I'm never getting married. I'm having too much fun. I'm building robots!"
Bret: "Who needs a wife when you have robots?"
Ben: "Not those kinds of robots. . . ."

Corey: "I'd like to see a little more about Jasmine." (Speaking of the JavaScript testing framework)
Bret: "Why? Do you like scantily-clad Arabian women?"

"Is it ok for a grandpa to have a fauxhawk?"
- Jonathan

(talking to Tiberius...)
Heather: "I'm trying to help you shed your head..."

Heather: "The last six SimpliQuotes have been me."
Corey: "You say as many words as you do in a day you're bound to string together something interesting."

"It makes sense if you don't think about it."
- Heather

"It is impertinent that Zach knows this."
- Heather

"I'm always under the influence of something."
- Heather

Heather: *cough* "I'm trying to breathe. . . ."
Corey: "I wouldn't. . . ."

Lukas: "You getting the Nexus 7?"

Jonathan: "Uh . . . No. Is that from Apple?"

"In this place, it's better to avoid blame than take credit."
- Corey

"I'm commitstipated. I'm feeling backed up. I have lots of commits. They need to be pushed. You know the feeling, when you're like, I need to get this out sooner or later, preferably sooner than later."
- Bret

Talking about a color personality test.

Heather: "...so, I was red for dominant, and blue for caring..."

Justin H: "So really you should have been green."

Zach: "Yeah, you should have been green."

Heather: "O.o."

"Just so you know, I've played more games of modern wherefore..."
- Tiffany

"I manscaped my hair for you guys today. Extra fluffy."
- Troy

"I'm the man of pretty much every hour. Humility? Yeah, I've got it."
- Zach

Heather: "If I work from home, I still have to keep my dog outside. He knows I'm home, so he just whines the whole day."
Troy: "That's just like my wife."

"Half the things we did when we were kids, you could be considered a domestic terrorist nowadays."
- Jaron

Tiffany: "I'm a girl, I wear dresses sometimes."

Nate: "Most girls just complain about wearing dresses."

Ben: "All I know is that when I'm with a girl wearing a dress, she always wants to take it off."

"It's been a business doing pleasure with you."
- Troy

"Didn't you hear about my drug story as a child?"
- Heather

"Let's just go for a walk outside and throw flowers at each other."
- Tiffany

"Why am I this transgendered girl?"
- Heather

Heather: "The reason I don't believe in babies..."
Matt R.: "Babies are real. I've seen several of them."

Heather: "You can have your Troy back now, chair."

Heather: "When people are about to die, they smell lemons."
Troy: "Because they probably pee their pants."
Heather: "Umm, I don't what your pee smells like, but most people's pee does not smell like lemons."

Heather: "Troy, your door doesn't shut."
Troy: "Are you referring to my mouth?"

While looking over some code...
Heather: "Logically, that shouldn't work. I took Logic 101 - this shouldn't be working."
Justin: "Well, you took girls' logic, so...."

In the middle of a development meeting.
Jaron: "I think it's probably good to take a fresh dump."

Heather: "I fat fingered it. The '10' key is right next to the '9' key."

Troy: "Did you know that Scuba is an acronym?"
Heather: "For snorkeling?"

Troy: "I'm not gonna go... What's the word... Fetching balls."
Justin E.: "I think the word is 'shagging'."

Justin H: "When you need to send over the nude stuff, use indexing_count."
Troy: "Man, that sounds good."

Regarding Justin Earl's side businesses.
"He's an Entra-manure; he has to deal with all kinds of crap!"