Matt H.: "If you enjoy movies with naked she-males, then see it."

Corey: "What's the movie?"

"I'd kiss [my wife], but if that's contagious, I don't want it. I mean, I don't know where the baby would come out!"
- Matt H.

"[Passports] are expensive. I just got one. I have to flee the country soon."
- Matt H.

(Girl in the background playing darts) "NO! Take that off!!"
Matt: "Whoooa, ok. I'm going home. I'm not into strip darts."
Derek: "I'll be honest. I probably would be."
Matt: "You get one mad person and you're too close to a disaster."

Dallin: "Luckily, that Hudson score has never been something that I really cared about."
Matt: "Well that's really embarrassing; that's like not really caring about wearing pants."

"It's good for camaraderie and brotherhood, but... screw you guys."
- Matt H.

Matt: "I asked my wife for an ice fishing tent for Christmas."
Derek: "You do a lot of ice fishing?"
Matt: "No, I just want my own quiet spot in the backyard."

"I'm kinda proud of the fact that I hate my car."
- Matt H.

"You know, I really shouldn't talk bad about those idiots."
- Matt H.