(After Bret explained meeting his wife through a mutual interest in astronomy)
Jonathan: "How long has it been since you 'showed her the stars'?"
Bret: "It's been quite awhile."

(Later, Bret, trying to explain himself)
Bret: "I was referring to my telescope!"
Lukas: "Is that what you call it?"

Bret: "Lukas is going to streak across the company wearing one of the Degüello flags."

Lukas: "I'll need more than one."

Jonathan: "Let's be honest, one will be just fine."

Bret (speaking about a bug): "Jonathan can't reproduce."
Jonathan: "Five kids, one on the way."

Zach: "So Corey, did you order some blue BuckyBalls?"
Corey: "Yeah, I did."
Jonathan: "Corey, you're gonna have blue balls?"
Troy: "Come on, Jonathan! HR Violation!"
Jonathan: "What!? It was just hanging there."

"Is it ok for a grandpa to have a fauxhawk?"
- Jonathan

Lukas: "You getting the Nexus 7?"

Jonathan: "Uh . . . No. Is that from Apple?"